The holidays are almost here.
It's not just somewhat crazy that I can remember very vividly it being December 2016, and thinking about how intimidating the idea of another year seemed. Oh..wow! Another year to make a change. Then. Bam.
You end up at the end of it.
My mother was raised catholic, and my father was Jewish. So, we celebrated both Channukah(how many spellings does that word actually have) and Christmas. 🌲 I can't say for the most part I had a 'perfect' childhood holiday season. Most probably can't. I do remember eagerly waiting for Santa to bring my gifts. I remember writing Christmas lists. I remember leaving all sorts of random, and rather unhealthy food for Santa and his reindeer. I didn't even know reindeer were legit animals until a few years ago. Lol.
I think the saddest part for me, in many ways, is less about how much I miss being a kid, and more about how little I knew about being grateful.
I just want to apologize to my mother and father(RIP). I hope you know how entirely grateful I am for always doing their best to make sure I was provided for. I was too focused on things. Thank goodness for hindsight.
So many feelings get brought up around this time for everyone. I see some sad, missing old family members and traditions, relationships, being young.
Some hurt because they feel alone.
I just want you to know right now, that you are not alone. That I am here with you and for you, and if you feel like you have nowhere to go, and no-one to be with, and no one who cares. I do.
I can't tell you how many years I had with nowhere to go, sometimes on my own account, sometimes not.
I hope you can find peace, and a little magic this holiday season. Hopefully very little drama, and so many warm moments that no amount of ginger bread cookies could compare to. (Gluten free, preferably. Stupid celiac disease)
Reach out. I think I'm going to go volunteer at the soup kitchen.
I love you more than you know,
and if you need me, I'm always here.